Saying Yes To Superman

It is the first day of winter break. Rowan, Robert and I are first in line to see Legendary Santa at the Children’s Museum. “Come on up, Rowan,” Santa calls in his warm, bellowing voice.  “You too, mom, and dad,” he says, motioning Robert and I to follow.  

A year ago, I would have corrected Santa that Robert is my boyfriend and not Rowan’s father. But this moment is different. Natural. Right.

Robert came into my life a little over a year ago when I swiped right.  Little did I know that ignited a flame that would set me on the course to find a love I never thought possible—sacrificial, challenging, fun, and inspiring. His love is a life raft. When we first met, I was in the process of swimming to the surface of an endless abyss of self-doubt and anxiety. Nevertheless, he sees something in me that I can’t see quite yet, and he chooses to be with me. 

Robert is Superman. He is not the Superman of the comic books and movies of my childhood, but the man who after repeatedly hitting rock bottom, chose true bravery by admitting what he was doing was not working so he made the decision to change. He did not become Superman overnight. He patiently, but slowly changed his belief systems that were enslaving him by implementing small, tangible steps every day. 

He is the Superman who looks me boldly in the eyes on last New Year’s Eye, telling me I’m not broken, shattering the lies I’ve believed about myself all my life. He musters all his strength to not cry but to make me laugh after we learned that our surprise pregnancy, three months into our relationship, is non-viable. He exhibits intentionality and thoughtfulness by giving my son his very first Lego set, spending countless hours at his side guiding him, until Rowan developed the confidence to build and create on his own. When he sees I am hurting, he sucks up his pride and apologizes. His carefully chosen healing words are balm to my wounded soul.

This is why, while on a walk by the river, when he drops to one knee asking me to be his wife, I did not hesitate even a second. Robert will never replace Rowan’s devoted father; rather, he is now another member of our bi-nuclear family.  We are all now climbing on board a boat, standing together as a family. We’re prepared to forge through the smooth and choppy waters ahead by never forgetting to follow the light within.